So little Mr. Hudson Hawk (that's my son) has not been sleeping at all lately. I'm not sure what has him waking up every hour (if i'm lucky 2 hours) all night long. It could be his teeth, his insistence on being held all the time or his need to be the centre of attention. All I know is that I'm exhausted and I wish I was 10 years younger.
I feel like my body, mind and my sanity would've been able to cope with parenting stresses much better in my 20s. I used to think people were nuts when they were married and starting families in their late teens/early 20s.
I was a very self-involoved person and then I became very career oriented. I had goals to finish school (all 7 years of college & university), party with my friends, travel and of course find a well paying job to support myself and my future family.
I met my husband toward the end of my quest "to find myself", fell in love, moved to Collingwood and we started our family. And now, although I love my life and it seems to be going pretty much the way I want, I'm exhausted and I don't feel like I am enjoying it like I am suppose to. I love being a mother and I would love to have a whole bunch of kids, but as I get older it seems like its going to get infinately harder.
Now I look back at my mom, grandmothers and friends who started their families earlier in their lives and I envy them, and the amount of sleep they are getting!!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
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